Bienvenido este fin de semana a mis gingersnaps! Hoy estamos hablado de… uh… sorry, wrong language. See, this is what happens when I don’t get my required 9 hours of sleep. Cause I’m a night owl and my lovely, generous teenager decided he wanted to volunteer with the sweet little kids doing VBS (Vacation Bible School) this week. I’m so proud of him. Except for having to get up at the ass crack of dawn (7:45am) to drive him to our church. Driving up mountainous curvy back roads because the 405 would make it an hour commute. Hey, don’t judge… I’m a night owl. I go to sleep around 2am. I knew I had to get up every damn day to take him (then back to bring him home) but did I go to sleep any earlier? NO. And then there’s nights like last night where my colon (Bob the Douchebag Dragon) won’t let me get to sleep until 5am and then I’m super grumpy in the morning, but yay me for not doing road rage today!! #onedayatatime And no I didn’t have time to drink coffee. I gave myself 15 minutes to get out of bed, pee (sorry but it’s true), brush my teeth, put on deodorant and then clothe myself before getting in the car. Are you bored yet? Cause I’m about to blog myself to sleep. And I STILL didn’t have my coffee today. Sidenote: I am right now munching on some organic, humanely killed free range granola-like clusters with flax seeds (Jamie’s influence) and I can’t eat a single mouthful without at least one piece falling down my shirt into my cleavage. And yes of course I dig them out and eat them. They’re my boobs. I wouldn’t offer them to anyone else. I bet you’re glad you know that information I just shared. I really should get more sleep before I blog. I could keep going and going and going and going… Ack!!! Okay, okay… on to the news…
Long Story short… Alan Rickman was on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon ( 👈 Jimmy is KILLING IT!) and Alan told a story of Michael Gambon (Dumbledore) who has a remote control fart machine that he likes to use to prank people. In the 3rd Harry Potter movie, Snape told Dumbledore (I’m just switching to real names now) to put a fart machine in Harry’s sleeping bag during a scene where Snape and Dumbledore were talking to 200 children in sleeping bags. But seriously, watch it on video because it is SO much better to hear Snape tell it!
The 25-year-old English actor’s former Harry Potter co-star Alan Rickman recently chatted about pranking him on set during an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
“I knew that Michael Gambon was the owner and user of a remote controlled fart machine… (and in) the third Harry Potter, there was a scene which had 200 kids in sleeping bags. With great grown-up wit I said, ‘We should put the fart machine in Daniel Radcliffe‘s sleeping bag’, and we did,” Alan shared.
He added, “The scene… started with me running in saying, ‘Headmaster, what about the children?’ This is how the scene then went: ‘For tonight, let them sleep (fart noise), for in sleep (fart noise), they can fly with the swiftest swallow (fart noise)’.”
In other news, I love Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh wait, that’s not news. The news is that he pranked people at the Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum in Hollywood as well as people on the street nearby. Yes I know he cheated on his wife repeatedly and had a child with the not-so-attractive housekeeper, but I just can’t stop loving him. Take any other cheating actor and they are in the Douchebaggery Club, where I would like to unleash my anger with 1000 swords, but with Arnold? Can’t make myself not like him. Perhaps it was the Predator poster above my childhood bed, on top of my Hollie Hobby wallpaper. It’s like he watched over me all those years and protected me like he protected the girl and himself from the Predator while all his friends were killed. The only other exception to a cheater who I won’t allow in the Douchebaggery Club is Jackie Chan. Yeah I know he also had a baby with another woman other than his wife, but I swear someone slipped him a drug and he accidentally fell on her or something. Yup. Totally innocent. Oh, back to Schwarzenegger (and yes I taught myself how to spell his name correctly at age 8, because… well I don’t know why, I just did! So watch Ahnold pranking everyone, scaring the poo (family friendly!) out of everyone. Just kidding! He scared the shit out of everyone. (not family friendly)
Naya Rivers opens up about Pregnancy Sex with Ryan Dorsey
What, you don’t know who these two people are? Idiots! Idiots I tell you. I don’t know who they are either. I can tell you that the wife is dicussing her pregnancy sex life she has with her husband with PEOPLE magazine. Okay, just let me quote the best part… “Things like sex with my husband became a bit odd for me due to the fact that I was now limited to about two positions in order to not squash -as my husband calls it- “it’s roof” or have the baby (my belly) staring him in the face. I feel like men are constantly imaging their baby winking at them when they make love to their pregnant wives.” WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND ON? Well, I guess she’s on nothing since she’s pregnant but that’s some messed up logic there. I’m sorry for calling you idiots before. Clearly THEY are the idiots. “Oh no honey, don’t touch me, the baby’s winking at you through my belly and might see what we are doing!”
Man Robs Bank Using Sex Toy Disguised As Bomb, Police Say
Aaron Stein, 35, allegedly robbed a PNC Bank in Crafton by telling employees he was carrying an explosive device.
“He stated he had a bomb, showed the teller wires hanging out from his shirt and demanded cash,” Crafton Police Chief Mark Sumpter told.
Police said the teller gave Stein an undisclosed amount of cash, but called 911 after he fled.
Stein was arrested after Robinson Township Officer Mike Gastgeb spotted his white Toyota sedan along the road.
“I noticed a white Toyota Corolla with a male in it, sitting in this parking lot over here,” Gastgeb told CBS Pittsburgh. “I went over to confront him, he drove away, I stopped him.”
Another officer on the scene found money in a garbage bag inside Stein’s car. Beneath the front passenger seat, officers found the “bomb” Stein is accused of using. Sumpter said it was made out of “a box, black tape, vibrator and cellphone,” according to NBC News.
Police say Stein confessed to the robbery and claimed he never had a real bomb. Nevertheless, a bomb squad was called to the scene and robots removed items from the car. A briefcase was found in the trunk but no explosives were found, according to CBS News.
Stein also told officers “that he lost all of his money in the stock market last week and that he was desperate,”reports.
Stein was charged on nine felony counts including aggravated assault, robbery, threatening to use a weapon of mass destruction. Because he allegedly pretended a sex toy was a bomb, he is also being charged with possessing a facsimile weapon of mass destruction.
A preliminary hearing will be held June 25 in Allegheny County Magisterial District Court.
Since I keep saying this isn’t the family friendly entertainment review… I need to make sure to live up to my promises. And this week you get TWO for the price of one! My husband likes to randomly text me the beaver meme. Cause he’s funny!
Blow-Up Sex Doll Review
If Erectile Dysfunction Commercials Were Honest
This video is so full of awesomesauce, you’ve GOT to watch it. But maybe not with kids around. Unless you have headphones.
I think there’s a cream for that.
Mature Attraction FTW!
And that’s all the time I have for you today. I’m afraid I may have taken the “not family friendly” theme a little far today. *shrugs* For now I must sleep. Sleep and sleep and sleep until mañana. Until next week, I leave you with this last fact…
Is this for both genders? Why only in Russia? I should start a single ladies cruise to Russia. No wait, a flight. Yes a flight. Who’s coming? #seewhatididthere