While perusing Facebook yesterday morning, I came across this article:
Do tattoos need to be gender specific? I’m not sure if this is intentionally offensive or if they are honestly trying to show tattoos they feel appeal to girls, because I must confess:
1. I was offended (and I’m not easily offended)
2. my first tattoo looked a lot like one of the ones on this page…
While that form, “Typical Girl Tattoo Form” makes me cringe and want to hit someone, I can’t deny that my first tattoo looks similar to the dreamcatcher. Now it’s NOT a dreamcatcher, as it is a Cherokee Indian Shield, but every single person who saw it told me what a cool dreamcatcher it was, leading me to yell “It’s NOT A DREAMCATCHER” every time I showed it to someone. And yes, I picked this lovely tattoo off the wall at Sailor Bill’s TattooTime Tattoo Shop because I was determined NOT to get a “girly” tattoo, like a flower or a butterfly. I went with a friend since all people need to go with a friend their “first time”. And I passed out from the pain in the middle of it. I warned him I was passing out, and the next thing I remember, my friend was leaning over me holding a can of coke and telling me to take a sip. Too bad he didn’t finish the tattoo while I was passed out. And since it was on my back, I couldn’t see it. When he finished, he said with a straight face, “That’s the best naked Indian I’ve ever done!” And yes he scared me for about 2 seconds before I realized he was joking.
My First Tattoo
On the way out the door he said tattoos are addictive and swore we’d be back. We swore we’d never get another tattoo. I was telling the truth until I was in my early 30’s and Spank was visiting. We found an amazing Tattoo Artist named Jaiman and I ended up getting three roses in my tramp stamp area, each rose in the favorite color of each of my 3 kids (red, purple and orange). About a year later, I got him to fix my first tattoo, which I liked for approximately 2 years and hated for the next 13 years. He took it from this… to THIS!
Amazing, huh? He took my love of American Indian culture, to make an Indian Fairy, holding that shield, along with the weapon (the Slayer’s Scythe, for you Buffy fans) and a Wolf, which was a subtle nod to the Twilight era, a movie Mr. G worked on, a tongue-in-cheek blog Spank and I wrote on, and a means to meet several people who we are still friends with this day.
After the Roses Tramp Stamp tattoo for my kids (picture further down), but before he fixed my Native American Shield, he tattooed this Pressed Fairy on my back.
Does anyone recognize this off the bat? If so, you win a special prize. I don’t know what that prize is, but you win it. This picture is straight out of a book called, Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book. It’s written by Terry Jones from Monty Python.
The premise is that a little girl keeps seeing fairies in her garden and no one believes her, so she takes her dairy, sneaks up on the fairies and snaps it shut, smooshing the fairies inside and pressing them like one would press a flower. She writes about her adventures in this diary as well. It’s hilarious and well worth the purchase. They have released several special editions of this book, so it’s still available in some sort or another. Here’s an example of some of the pressed fairies in the book:
And I’m not the only one who has chosen to tattoo a Pressed Fairy on their body.
Now let’s get back to this article and the girl tattoos…
35 TATTOOS EVERY BASIC GIRL MUST HAVE
A basic girl has lust in her heart for everything. (What does that even mean?!)
A CUTE BABY ELEPHANT
Basic girls know baby animals are adorable. (And we all used to play with dolls when we were younger!)
A CRESCENT MOON RESTING IN YOUR COLLARBONE CREVASSE
Basics’ hide all their goodies in their crevasses. (So we’re all drug mules now?)
A CUTE BABY FOX
Basic girls know foxes are cool. (What if we don’t like foxes?)
AND A CUTE CAT TATTOO NEXT TO A CAT THAT’S ANGRILY GLARING AT YOU
And so are cats. (And so are cats… well, EVERYONE should know cat tattoos are cool. They are not specific to “Basic Girls” )
A STEREOTYPICAL BEACH SOUVENIR
A true basic girl lives the mermaid lifestyle. (They’re starting to make me feel stabby)
HOW YOU MARK YOUR TERRITORY
A basic chick must mark her territory. (How the hell does a bobby pin “mark our territory”?)
LYRICS TO A REGINA SPEKTOR SONG
Regina Spektor is a musical genius, all basic girls know it. (I don’t know any Regina Spektor songs.)
BON IVER LYRICS
You can’t be a basic girl if you don’t listen to Bon Iver. (I’m clearly not a basic girl if this is the criteria)
“SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS” LYRICS
“Such Great Height” is the basic girl anthem. (THAT I know. But isn’t that a guy’s arm in the picture?)
A VERY PERMANENT PINKY PROMISE
Basic girls are clever so they have clever tattoos, duh. (Doesn’t “basic” infer the opposite of clever? And some guys do pinky promises.)
MAJESTIC FLYING SPARROWS
Basic girls are majestic.(Again, basic = majestic??!)
MAJESTIC FLYING BIRDS THAT AREN’T SPARROWS
They show off their majestic side with lots of bird tattoos. (*rolls eyes*)
AN ARROW WITH A LOT OF MEANING BEHIND IT
If it isn’t super simple with a made up meaning behind it, it isn’t basic enough. (okay they totally lost me here)
INFINITY SIGNS, JUST IN GENERAL
Everything last forever for basic gals. (Everything lastS, dumbass. Even basic girls know to spell)
A WAY TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR DIETARY NEEDS
A recent study shows 80% of real basic girls are vegans. Flaunt it, ladies. (I live in Los Angeles and only know one girl who is a vegan. I demand a recount)
MATCHING RIBCAGE TATS WITH YOUR BFF
Basic gals like to match their basic best friends. (Now I’m questioning again your definition of “basic girls”)
Miley Cyrus, Queen Basic, has a dreamcatcher tattoo. So of course you need one too. (It’s NOT a dreamcatcher!!! Oh sorry, that was just a reflex. Carry on…)
A DANDELION GRACEFULLY BLOWING IN THE BREEZE
Basic girls don’t get flowers tattooed on them. No, they get weeds. (Alert the media… basic girls get weeds, not flowers)
WAIT A MINUTE: I still don’t have their definition of a “basic girl” but now I know for sure that I’m not one, because I definitely have flowers on one of my tattoos. One in each of my kids’ favorite colors.
PAYING HOMAGE TO HARRY POTTER
Harry Potter is a basic classic. (You got me there. I do plan to get a Cornish Pixie tattoo, but my husband also plans to get a Harry Potter tattoo, and I can tell you for a fact that he’s no “Basic Girl”. While I’m thinking Cornish Pixie, he’s thinking Hungarian Horntail Dragon with Hogwarts burning in the background as a full back piece. It’s going to be awesome.)
OR TO “THE HUNGER GAMES”
And so is The Hunger Games.
A TATTOO IN A LANGUAGE YOU PROBABLY DON’T UNDERSTAND
Basic chicks know that it’s cool to get tattoos that you can’t read, that way you can keep changing the meaning. (Yes I have the 3 characters for “Mother” in Amharic tattooed on my back since I adopted a child from Ethiopia, but are you telling me guys don’t do this? Especially with Chinese characters?)
Here’s MY tattoo, the foreign language is “carved” into the tree on my back. Again, these three characters mean “Mother” in Amharic, the main language in Ethiopia since we adopted a baby girl from there.
THOSE THREE MAGIC WORDS
Love is basic. (And apparently men are incapable of tattooing these three words on their bodies. I wonder if their bodies explode if they try to tattoo “I Love You” on their body.)
PUNCTUATION, SO EVERYONE KNOWS YOU LOVE GRAMMAR
Basic girls know grammar; (Basic Boys apparently do not know or love grammar. It says so right here in this article so it must be true.)
NOTHING’S GIRLER THAN A BOW
If you want a super girly basic tattoo, a bow is the way to go. (How about a vagina? A vagina is girlier than a bow.)
WINGS BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ANGEL
Basic ladies, show off your angelic side with wings.
(Spank is no “basic” woman, but she has a kickass tattoo on her back with wings on this angel…)
Basic gals can’t read music, but they fake it until they make it. (Can’t read music??! Wow, that’s really offensive. Basic Girls probably shouldn’t be voting either.)
A BEHIND-THE-EAR FEATHER
A behind the ear tattoo is the basic tramp stamp. (Um, no it’s not the basic tramp stamp. I think that honor belongs to the actual tramp stamp.)
THE CLASSIC ANCHOR
The anchor is the basic girl trademark tattoo. (hahahahaha! It’s the basic girl trademark tattoo?! What about Sailors, you dipshit?)
AND FINALLY, AN ANCHOR PLUS AN INFINITY SIGN PLUS A HEART. EXTRA BASIC.
Wait, I spoke too soon. An anchor plus an infinity sign plus a heart is the basic girl trademark. (Right, because these are extremely common tattoos to get. *shakes head no*)
So Minq appears to be a website marketed to women, but I can’t find an author to blame for this article on the 35 Tattoos Every Basic Girl Must Have.
According to the clues in this article, a “Basic Girl” is incapable of getting an original style tattoo. So much so, that’s there’s this list of 35 Tattoos that Basic Girls need as well as a “Typical Girl Tattoo Form”. What I want to know is, does a “Typical Boy Tattoo Form” exist? Something tells me no. Basic Girls also don’t know how to read music, yet get musical notes tattooed on their body. They get matching tattoos with their besties, feathers behind their ears, anchors connected to an infinity sign plus a heart, in a language you can’t read. And 80% of “real basic girls” are Vegans? Again, I ask you, where is your data? What is a “real basic girl”? Supposedly we have to mark our territory with a bobby pin, know all the lyrics to Regina Spektor and Bon Iver. I’m telling you, the “Basic Girl” doesn’t sound so intelligent.
Based on this article, I know I’m not a “Basic Girl”, nor do I ever want to become one. One thing they got right was mentioning cat tattoos. Cattoos are cool for any gender. Not only am I going to get a cat fairy on either side of the base of my tree, as memorial pieces…
At the back of my neck, you may notice a symbol which is an ancient rune meaning “Fearless”. Anyone else read The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare? And then there’s the huge tree down my back which symbolizes “family”, which is why I have “mother” in Amharic written into the tree. Two of my kids were adopted, so the roots wrap around the flowers that are for my kids. The roots symbolize my children’s roots. Their birth relatives. Their history.
Like I mentioned before, I plan to get a cat fairy on either side of my tree trunk to memorialize my soul mate kitty and that of my husband’s. Then I was a Cornish Pixie on top and then the rest of the skin filled in with some sky/grass combination.
But next week I’m getting two cat tattoos on my arms. Mr. G picked them out and picked the placement (inside of my forearms). My previous tattoo artist Jaiman has retired and I had to go through a couple of artists before I could find one who could do these, because they are difficult to do with no outside black outline. I found Hana Li Tek, who splits her time between Australia and Los Angeles and has won the “Best Female Tattoo Artist in Australia” award. She will be doing my tattoos next week in Los Angeles. One is of a Scottish Fold (which I have two of) and the other one is a Sphynx (which I also have two of). I can’t wait! NEXT WEEK!!
So… I think the big takeaway from this article is that is was basically written by a chauvinistic male. Thoughts? Oh and if you feel like telling me how awesome my tattoos are, you’re welcome to do so. I won’t stop you.