Ginger: According to Urban Dictionary, the top definition of Manscaping is….
Spank: Did you hear that? That was Mr. Webster shaking in his boots:
Definition of BOOT
1: a fitted covering (as of leather or rubber) for the foot and usually reaching above the ankle
2: an instrument of torture used to crush the leg and foot
But we are here today to examine a very specific form of manscaping. One Mr. Urban did not cover. Pubescaping. *copyright pending.
Ginger: At some point in recent culture, it became popular for guys to shave their twig and berries bald. Why? WHYYYYYY?
Spank: Slick Willies.
Ginger: Do men think it’s attractive to resemble a pre-pubescent boy?
Spank: I am not a priest so… no.
Ginger: OMG… I can’t believe you went there. Actually yes, I can.
Spank: I am nothing if not pre-dic(k)table, G. I think I need to tell the good people of the interwebs WHY I’m pro-pube. See, the thing is… when I’m in bed with my man, I like knowing he’s, you know, a man. And nothing says man like that soft curl between my fingers as I… *pauses* Hold up.. we don’t want a special rating for this blog. *clears my throat* Nevermind.
Ginger: EXACTLY. Seriously… Who is manlier, this guy?
Or Ginger Guy? *singing* “Strawberry Fields, Forever“
Spank: If you have to hold a gun that big, you’re definitely overcompensating. I also can’t help but wonder if Ginger Guy named his lil man Won-Won.
Ginger: *gigglesnort* That guy with the rifle needs to be holding the stock a little higher because it doesn’t look like there’s much to block.
Spank: It seems we here at The Spank and Ginger Show are decidedly #TeamPube and there is medical evidence to support our position which explains why you should be certain your pubes remain strong, wiry defense mechanisms against stuff and thangs….
“Pubic hair removal naturally irritates and inflames the hair follicles left behind, leaving microscopic open wounds. Rather than suffering a comparison to a bristle brush, frequent hair removal is necessary to stay smooth, causing regular irritation of the shaved or waxed area. When that irritation is combined with the warm moist environment of the genitals, it becomes a happy culture medium for some of the nastiest of bacterial pathogens, namely Group A Streptococcus, Staphylococcus aureus and its recently mutated cousin methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). There is an increase in staph boils and abscesses, necessitating incisions to drain the infection, resulting in scarring that can be significant. It is not at all unusual to find pustules and other hair-follicle inflammation papules on shaved genitals.
Additionally, I’ve seen cellulitis (soft-tissue bacterial infection without abscess) of the scrotum, labia and penis as a result of spread of bacteria from shaving or from sexual contact with strep or staph bacteria from a partner’s skin. Some clinicians are finding that freshly shaved pubic areas and genitals are also more vulnerable to herpes infections due to the microscopic wounds being exposed to viruses carried by mouth or genitals. It follows that there may be vulnerability to spread of other STIs as well.
Pubic hair does have a purpose, providing a cushion against friction that can cause skin abrasion and injury, protection from bacteria and other unwanted pathogens, and is the visible result of long-awaited adolescent hormones, certainly nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.” –KevinMD.com
Ginger: That’s some nasty sounding shit right there.
And honestly, how do guys learn to shave their pubes? Is there a manual for this?
Spank: Men have manuals for EVERYTHING, Ginger…! I just hope they’re using a different razor for their face.
Ginger: Well, I don’t think they should be using hair removal cream either. Look at this Amazon review for Veet from this poor bloke across the pond.
“DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS” a review of: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel…
“Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don’t have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)”
Spank: You know how guys are always scratching their “knob and bollocks”? I bet it’s ’cause they have stubble.
Ginger: You are a genius, Spank. We have a perfect way to detect who’s shaving their pubes and who’s a real man going natural.
So… unless you were not reading everything we said, have a traumatic brain injury or an IQ less than 70, you can see that both of us think men should be men and keep their pubes.
Ginger: Hey Spank, is there any reason we here at the Spank and Ginger Show endorse removal of the male pubes?
Spank: If your partner wears braces…?
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